Gaah...it always feels great to be back writing the unspokens. Yes, home alone. Here I am being home alone. Before my family went back to Indonesia, I always thought that being home alone or not would have no big difference, as you obviously just lived in the same house, but alone and that's it!
Hold on, that's not really 'it'! Recently I've just found out that being home alone makes a big difference. I'm not going to be talking about me getting used to do my laundry, my food and so on. Needless to say, we will end up getting used to do such things when we are home alone, right? But the thing I meant here is another thing.
My home alone experience seems to have taught me something. It really does tell me that I really am alone. Not only in physical sense, but also other sense that I, myself, can hardly explain. It sometimes (always?) sucks to know that you are alone in your house. You may feel lonely and have nothing to do besides doing your laundry, tidying your rooms and preparing your food. You may even go online often if you have no other work to do (as I'm doing now hahaha) to talk with your friends. Or you may hang out somewhere with or without your friends. Either way works for me.
But, as my parents once said, you obviously cannot always depend upon your friends. Your friends are indeed your friends and you've got to be there when your friends need you. But one thing that you should know, they are not always going to be there for you. They have their own life, and you do have your own life as well. And you gotta respect that! Got it?
Anyway, let's talk about the experience.
It is sometimes hard to realize that something you think is there is not really there. Just like ghosts. Frankly, when I'm home alone, I feel that something is behind me that makes me too afraid to turn my face around and look. But when I turn my face around, there is nothing there. Yes, there is indeed nothing there. I've understood that all this time I was just too scared to look and realize that there is actually nothing around me. Hahaha, ghosts, you no longer scare me.
Yes, I know now...there's nothing to be afraid of. I shouldn't be afraid to look and face the reality. The reality tells me that there is nothing behind me. There's nothing around me. I'm alone as I was and will always be. Even if it's believed that the ghosts are flying around accompanying me being home alone, they are just there, right? Yes, they are just there! They're not gonna harm you. They are not gonna do something to you. So, the point is that being home alone has taught me that I really am alone, and no ghosts in particular. And for all of you, we really are alone as well. But that's not a big deal. We just need to go through it and that's all.
Now, that's really 'all'! :D
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